When Should Mom or Dad Stop Driving? A Calm Guide for Placer & Sacramento Families

Quick answer: Age alone doesn’t decide it. Watch for new dents, getting lost on familiar roads, close calls, and family who no longer want to ride along. If you see these signs, talk with your parent’s doctor first. Many families start with limits, like no night or freeway driving, and plan other rides before the keys go away.

Maybe you noticed a new scrape on Dad’s bumper. Maybe Mom called, upset, because she couldn’t find her way home from the grocery store she’s used for years. Now you’re lying awake wondering if you should say something, and dreading how that talk will go. You’re not alone. Giving up the car can feel like giving up freedom, so this conversation needs care. This guide helps you spot the signs, talk about it kindly, and keep your parent getting where they need to go.

The short version

• In California, a driver’s age is not a reason for the DMV to retest them. Safety and health are.
• Warning signs include new dents, getting lost, close calls, and confusion at intersections.
• Their doctor is a good first stop. Doctors can check vision, medications and memory.
• Stopping driving is easier when rides are already lined up.

What are the warning signs that driving isn’t safe anymore?

Try to ride along a few times before you decide anything. Then look over this list. One item isn’t proof. A pattern is worth acting on.

• New dents or scrapes on the car, the garage, the mailbox or the fence
• Getting lost on roads they’ve driven for years
• Close calls, near misses, or a recent fender bender
• Drifting between lanes, or riding the brake
• Missing stop signs or red lights
• Confusion at busy intersections or left turns
• Driving much too slow, or stopping for no clear reason
• Trouble turning their head to check behind them
• Family or friends who quietly avoid riding with them
• New tickets, or a warning from the police

The California DMV’s own driver handbook lists getting lost in familiar places, dents and scrapes, and frequent close calls as warning signs of an unsafe driver (California DMV).

Does California make older drivers stop at a certain age?

No. The DMV says a physical or mental condition, or a poor driving record, can be a reason to retest a driver, but age is not (California DMV).

There is one age rule to know. If your parent is 70 or older when their license expires, they have to renew in person and pass a vision test. Sometimes other tests are needed too (California DMV). That renewal can be a natural time to talk.

Why should you talk to their doctor first?

Many things that affect driving can be checked, and some can be treated. Vision changes, hearing loss, new medications, sleep problems, arthritis and memory changes can all play a part. Their doctor can look at the whole picture.

Before the visit, write down what you’ve seen, with dates. “Got lost coming home from church on October 3” is more helpful than “she’s getting worse.” Ask the doctor:

• Could any of their medications affect driving?
• Should their eyes or hearing be checked?
• Would a formal driving evaluation make sense?
• Is it safe for them to keep driving, with or without limits?

Some parents take the news better from a doctor than from their kids. That’s okay. Let the doctor be the messenger if it helps.

Can my parent keep driving with limits?

Often, yes, at least for a while. The DMV suggests some limits for senior drivers, like not driving at night, avoiding the freeway and busy intersections, driving when traffic is light, and keeping trips short (California DMV). The DMV also has a free Driver Skills Self-Assessment Questionnaire your parent can fill out on their own at dmv.ca.gov/driver-skills.

Here’s how the common steps compare:

• Keep driving, with limits. What it looks like: Daytime only, local roads, no freeway. When it may fit: Small changes, doctor says it's okay. Watch for: New dents, getting lost, night trips.
• Drive less, ride more. What it looks like: Family, friends or local rides for longer trips. When it may fit: Driving is getting stressful. Watch for: Missed appointments, isolation.
• Stop driving. What it looks like: The car stays parked or is sold. When it may fit: Doctor's advice, memory changes, a crash. Watch for: Loneliness; plan rides first.

How do you bring it up without a fight?

This talk is rarely one talk. It’s usually several. A few ideas that tend to help:

• Start early and small. “Would you be willing to skip night driving?” is easier to hear than “You have to stop.”
• Lead with worry, not blame. “I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt” lands better than “You’re a bad driver.”
• Use what you’ve seen. Point to the dent or the wrong turn, calmly, with no lecture.
• Talk about what stays the same. Church, the hair salon, lunch with friends. Show them how they’ll still get there.
• Pick one person to lead. A crowd of grown kids can feel like an ambush.
• Expect anger or sadness. Let them feel it. Try again another day.

What if they refuse and you’re scared for their safety?

This is the hardest spot to be in. If you believe a parent can no longer drive safely, the DMV lets family members ask for a review. You can fill out a Request for Driver Reexamination (form DS 699) or write a letter to a DMV Driver Safety office (California DMV).

A few things to know, from the DMV:

• The request must be signed, but you can ask that your name not be shared with your parent. The DMV says it will honor that as fully as it can.
• The DMV may ask for medical information, give a vision, knowledge or driving test, issue a limited license, or take no action (California DMV).
• Doctors are required by law to report certain conditions to the DMV, including Alzheimer’s disease, according to the DMV.

The DMV also has a Community Liaison and Outreach team for questions about senior drivers at (833) 493-0675. This is general information, not legal advice. Talk with the DMV directly about your parent’s situation.

The surprise: Giving up a license doesn’t mean losing an ID. In California, anyone 62 or older can get a no-fee Senior ID card, and drivers who can’t keep driving safely because of a health condition may be able to trade their license for a no-fee ID card (California DMV).

How will Mom or Dad get around without the car?

Line up rides before the keys go away. A parent who’s stuck at home can get lonely fast. Some local options:

• Placer County Transit Dial-A-Ride serves areas including Lincoln, Rocklin, Loomis, Granite Bay and the Auburn and Highway 49 area. It’s open to the public, with lower fares for seniors. Book through the GO South Placer app or call (916) 745-7560 at least the day before (Placer County Transit).
• Roseville Transit Arrow (formerly Dial-A-Ride) is an on-demand ride anywhere in Roseville city limits, open to riders of any age. Book through the same app or phone line (City of Roseville).
• SacRT GO is the paratransit service in Sacramento County for people whose disability or health condition keeps them from using regular buses or light rail. Eligibility is based on what a person can do, not on age, and a doctor or other professional fills out part of the application (SacRT).
• Family and friends. A shared calendar for rides to appointments can spread the load.
• Agency on Aging Area 4 offers free information on senior programs, including transportation help, in Sacramento and Placer counties.

When is driving a sign of bigger needs?

Sometimes the car is the first sign of something larger. If your parent is getting lost, missing medications, or struggling at home too, it may be time to look at more help. That could mean in-home care, or a move to a care home where meals, care and activities are close by. Many care homes help residents get to appointments, so ask each home how they handle rides.

If getting lost is part of a bigger memory change, our memory care guide for Roseville and Placer County can help. Our guide to in-home care vs assisted living compares the two paths.

How do you decide? An if-then guide

• If you’ve seen one small change, then ride along more, and bring it up gently.
• If you’re seeing a pattern of signs, then book a doctor visit and share what you’ve noticed, with dates.
• If the doctor says limits are okay, then agree on simple rules, like daytime and local roads only.
• If there are memory changes or a crash, then talk with the doctor about stopping, and line up rides now.
• If your parent refuses and you’re truly afraid for their safety, then contact the DMV about a reexamination request.
• If driving is one of many struggles at home, then it may be time to look at more care. Call or text us.

How Nonna Placements works: Nonna Placements is free to families. Licensed homes pay us a placement fee when someone moves in. You can choose any home. If the first home doesn’t work out, we find another one for free. This article is general information, not medical or legal advice. Talk with your parent’s doctor about whether it’s safe for them to drive, and with the DMV about license questions.

Talk it through with us

If the car is only part of what’s worrying you, call or text us. We’ll listen to how your parent is doing and talk through options, from help at home to a care home nearby. We can come on tours with you, and we offer video tours if you live out of state. We only suggest homes we’ve seen ourselves. It’s free to your family, and we reply within 1 hour, 24/7.

Call or text (916) 261-2644 or email roberto@nonnaplacements.com. If a hospital discharge is coming up fast, tell us right away.

Related reading: In-Home Care or Assisted Living? · Memory Care in Roseville and Placer County · Respite Care in Sacramento and Placer · Board and Care or Assisted Living? · How Much Does Assisted Living Cost in Sacramento? · Senior living in Roseville

Sources

• California DMV, Driver’s Handbook Section 13: Seniors and Driving (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/handbook/california-driver-handbook/seniors-and-driving/
• California DMV, Driver’s Handbook Section 12: Driver Safety (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/handbook/california-driver-handbook/driver-safety/
• California DMV, Deteriorated Driving Skill (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/driver-education-and-safety/dmv-safety-guidelines-actions/deteriorated-driving-skill/
• California DMV, Request for Driver Reexamination, DS 699 (REV. 10/2024) (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/file/request-for-driver-reexamination-ds-699-pdf
• California DMV, ID Cards (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/driver-licenses-identification-cards/identification-id-cards/
• Placer County Transit, Dial-A-Ride (checked October 23, 2026): https://placercountytransit.com/dial-a-ride/
• City of Roseville, Arrow on-demand (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.roseville.ca.gov/public_works/transit/services_schedules/arrow_on_demand.php
• SacRT, Accessible Services (checked October 23, 2026): https://www.sacrt.com/accessible-services/
• Agency on Aging Area 4: https://agencyonaging4.org/

About the author

Roberto Hategan is the CEO & Founder of Nonna Placements, a senior placement service in Granite Bay serving families across California, with a focus on Placer and Sacramento counties. We only suggest homes we’ve seen ourselves. Contact: roberto@nonnaplacements.com